Parental, Grandparental and Extended Family Alienation...Child Abuse, Plain and Simple!
Several decades ago, our American society accepted the principal of “No-Fault Divorce”. Our acceptance of this immoral, if not irresponsible, Public Policy has been, by far, one of the leading causes to our societal decline. Added to that failed ‘Body of Law’ and Public Policy, has been the accepted principals of Child Custody, imposed by less than competent Judges, of “who writes the check vs. who provides the bed”. Such public policy has caused massive damage to the foundations of our once ‘healthy, functional and productive society’. Now, after two generations of children who have been the ‘victims’ of these immoral and failed public policies, we find ourselves with tens-of-millions of dysfunctional children young adults, Parents, and Grandparents. The once transformative social framework and ‘healthy influences of the family’ have not just been undermined, but in many ways, almost obliterated. At the least, the social and moral ‘reference point’ of the family structure, including ‘Parental Responsibility and Family Member Value’, has been severely undermined. More recently, with the additional influences and effects of our societal acceptance of the LGBTQ lifestyle, and its secular values, with its advocacy of ‘non-Parental Value’ and ‘unimportance of traditional influence of Father and Mother’, the further decline and damage to our social structures, and negative effects on our children, will continue to expand.
The ‘Family Law’ Judicial system, Government Policy, and contemporary societal shifts in values and morals has relegated ‘The Parent’, ‘The Grandparent’, and even the ‘Extended Family Member’, upon Divorce, to a position of ‘disposable assets’ in the lives of children and maturing young adults. Our acceptance and advocacy of such principals has been nothing less than “Child Abuse”. Yes, “Child Abuse”!
Far too much of the public debate and court wrangling on this immense public threat has been focused on the Parents of children caught up in Divorces. Again, the importance has been “who writes the check vs. who provides the bed”. Grandparents and Extended Family Members are almost always, if ever, the last issue on the minds of Arbitrators, Judges, and Guardian Ad Litems in Divorce Custody cases. Although the Law and Judges in Child Custody cases have so eloquently proclaimed “The Best Interests of the Child should be the Polar Star that should guides all decisions”, instead, the ‘cheap’, ‘expedient’, and ‘less time consuming’ Custodial solutions and provisions are mostly accepted and imposed. And, the first to be marginalized in the Custody Orders are the ‘Non-Custodial Parent’, the ‘Grandparent(s)’, and the ‘Extended Family Member(s)’: vital and fundamental influences necessary for the maturing child, young Adult, and future Parent.
Because our society, our bureaucratic and incompetent Judicial System, and our less than attentive elected Officials has both supported and accepted such failed Laws and public polices, we now are living with millions of dysfunctional children, young Adults, and Adults, while ignoring the additional tens-of-millions of shattered lives of Parents, Grandparents and Extended Family Members. Our Society’s failings in Public Schools, Crime Prevention, Government competence, individual employment and upward mobility, and even private business innovation and productivity have all been dramatically affected by our acceptance of this failed public policy of ‘No Fault Divorce and Child Custody’ and ‘disposable Family Members’!
The solution to this ‘National Crisis’ is actually very simple! Many States have already taken corrective action and are reaping positive societal effects:
Our ‘learned’ and so-highly educated Judges have argued that the principal of such “Co-Parenting Responsibilities” and “Child’s Rights” in Custody Orders is “unrealistic”. They argue that the reason the Courts are involved in Custody cases is that the Parents have “failed in establishing a responsible working relationship” in dealing with each other and with their parental responsibilities. Thus, they argue, such parents cannot be expected to fulfill the demands of “Co-Parental Custody” responsibilities. This is a misguided, unfounded, and, as we have now experienced, dangerous argument for keeping our existing, dysfunctional and failed Child Custody policies. Anyone with any intelligence, after spending any time examining the years of failure in our existing Child Custody system, and decisions of our Judges, would understand dramatic action for change is required.
In closing, it’s important to return to the most important issue regarding “No Fault Divorce and Child Custody” in America: such failed policies have resulted in creating tens-of-millions of dysfunctional children, young Adults, and future parents, while shattering of the lives of tens-of-millions of Parents, Grandparents and Extended Family Members. The result has been ‘Child Abuse’, plain and simple...and it must end!
Several decades ago, our American society accepted the principal of “No-Fault Divorce”. Our acceptance of this immoral, if not irresponsible, Public Policy has been, by far, one of the leading causes to our societal decline. Added to that failed ‘Body of Law’ and Public Policy, has been the accepted principals of Child Custody, imposed by less than competent Judges, of “who writes the check vs. who provides the bed”. Such public policy has caused massive damage to the foundations of our once ‘healthy, functional and productive society’. Now, after two generations of children who have been the ‘victims’ of these immoral and failed public policies, we find ourselves with tens-of-millions of dysfunctional children young adults, Parents, and Grandparents. The once transformative social framework and ‘healthy influences of the family’ have not just been undermined, but in many ways, almost obliterated. At the least, the social and moral ‘reference point’ of the family structure, including ‘Parental Responsibility and Family Member Value’, has been severely undermined. More recently, with the additional influences and effects of our societal acceptance of the LGBTQ lifestyle, and its secular values, with its advocacy of ‘non-Parental Value’ and ‘unimportance of traditional influence of Father and Mother’, the further decline and damage to our social structures, and negative effects on our children, will continue to expand.
The ‘Family Law’ Judicial system, Government Policy, and contemporary societal shifts in values and morals has relegated ‘The Parent’, ‘The Grandparent’, and even the ‘Extended Family Member’, upon Divorce, to a position of ‘disposable assets’ in the lives of children and maturing young adults. Our acceptance and advocacy of such principals has been nothing less than “Child Abuse”. Yes, “Child Abuse”!
Far too much of the public debate and court wrangling on this immense public threat has been focused on the Parents of children caught up in Divorces. Again, the importance has been “who writes the check vs. who provides the bed”. Grandparents and Extended Family Members are almost always, if ever, the last issue on the minds of Arbitrators, Judges, and Guardian Ad Litems in Divorce Custody cases. Although the Law and Judges in Child Custody cases have so eloquently proclaimed “The Best Interests of the Child should be the Polar Star that should guides all decisions”, instead, the ‘cheap’, ‘expedient’, and ‘less time consuming’ Custodial solutions and provisions are mostly accepted and imposed. And, the first to be marginalized in the Custody Orders are the ‘Non-Custodial Parent’, the ‘Grandparent(s)’, and the ‘Extended Family Member(s)’: vital and fundamental influences necessary for the maturing child, young Adult, and future Parent.
Because our society, our bureaucratic and incompetent Judicial System, and our less than attentive elected Officials has both supported and accepted such failed Laws and public polices, we now are living with millions of dysfunctional children, young Adults, and Adults, while ignoring the additional tens-of-millions of shattered lives of Parents, Grandparents and Extended Family Members. Our Society’s failings in Public Schools, Crime Prevention, Government competence, individual employment and upward mobility, and even private business innovation and productivity have all been dramatically affected by our acceptance of this failed public policy of ‘No Fault Divorce and Child Custody’ and ‘disposable Family Members’!
The solution to this ‘National Crisis’ is actually very simple! Many States have already taken corrective action and are reaping positive societal effects:
- First, the “No-Fault Divorce and Child Custody” Laws must be re-written to clearly designate “Co-Parental Responsibility” as “In The Best Interest of the Child”; and,
- Second, unless there is a well documented, not fabricated, issue and history of child abuse, child neglect, or ‘parental incompetency’, Custody Orders should impose “Co-Parenting” and “Child Rights” provisions. Such provisions must include “equal access” by the Child to Parents, Grandparents and Extended Family Members. Not “reasonable”, but clearly definable “equal access”: and,
- Third, Custody Orders should include and require equal financial and ‘physical’ support, involvement, and decision making by each Parent in the child’s education, extra-curricular activities, and social life; and,
- Fourth, Custody Orders should clearly define elements of swift punishment for the Parent (who should also be held responsible for the actions of the Grandparents and Extended Family Members on their side of the Family) that violates any provisions that, in fact, have been designated “In The Child’s Best Interest(s)” – not “The Parent’s Best Interest(s)”, “The Child’s Best Interest(s)”; and,
- Lastly, the Laws must be revised so that Parents have well defined and ‘reasonable remedies’ to challenge and have punished any Judge, Court Official, Teacher or Education Administrator, Law Enforcement Official, etc. that interferes with the clearly defined provisions of the Custody Order – such should be viewed under such Laws in the same manner as “Child Abuse”.
Our ‘learned’ and so-highly educated Judges have argued that the principal of such “Co-Parenting Responsibilities” and “Child’s Rights” in Custody Orders is “unrealistic”. They argue that the reason the Courts are involved in Custody cases is that the Parents have “failed in establishing a responsible working relationship” in dealing with each other and with their parental responsibilities. Thus, they argue, such parents cannot be expected to fulfill the demands of “Co-Parental Custody” responsibilities. This is a misguided, unfounded, and, as we have now experienced, dangerous argument for keeping our existing, dysfunctional and failed Child Custody policies. Anyone with any intelligence, after spending any time examining the years of failure in our existing Child Custody system, and decisions of our Judges, would understand dramatic action for change is required.
In closing, it’s important to return to the most important issue regarding “No Fault Divorce and Child Custody” in America: such failed policies have resulted in creating tens-of-millions of dysfunctional children, young Adults, and future parents, while shattering of the lives of tens-of-millions of Parents, Grandparents and Extended Family Members. The result has been ‘Child Abuse’, plain and simple...and it must end!